


Gin

by sword



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-01-16 19:12:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12348912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sword/pseuds/sword
Summary: quirky village Merlin is the vicar,Arthur  can't remember who he is Morgana is a witch





	1. Chapter 1

To say it was June,it was windy and raining a weather warning had been issued,Merlin brushed down his horse as close to a destrier as you could get black as coal,clever but bitey as Merlin warns handsy people.

"Alright knob" Merlin says the horses name is Wizards Knob but Merlin being Merlin called the stallion knob, Morgana sniggers all the time about it when Merlin says "I'm just taking Knob out"  
Merlin shrugs to himself,Morgana is a witch she can't bake but keeps trying the gods bless her she makes flavoured gin in a tin bath,that is great wonderful even.

It is getting dark,it shouldn't be but it's going to be a storm evening.

After settling Knob for the night Merlin heads to his cottage,well he calls it a cottage..it's actually called the manor house it has a turret with spiral stairs,he goes up to look at the stars but he feels restless this evening, his magic perhaps? "Oh well" he says to himself aloud and goes down to his kitchen to make a cup of tea and toast to go with his tinned kippers he loves tinned kippers..then he goes to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

He can hardly see to drive!  
His eyes want to close he feels drunk the car is swerving all over the place,but he has got away "shit" he needs to keep on driving and then he goes into a hedge,the car turns over.....

He wakes to being upside down in the car he manages to undo the seat belt still in a panic,it's like a weird dream! he crawls out of the window stumbling heart on fire he see's the spire of a church he thinks in his drugged state he staggers to it and collapses in a stone porch and knows nothing more.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin rises early it's been a stormy night very windy noisy the manor creeks as it is,but last night it was like being on board an old ship!.

He indulges himself in toast and tinned kippers and tea he feels hedonistic for eating his favourite twice in the last 24hrs,he goes to the stables which are attached to the manor to feed Knob then he goes to church he goes in the back way when he opens the front doors a man falls in at his feet unconscious and banged about a bit he checks him over alive he calls Gaius on his mobile.

"I have an unconscious on my church doorstep" he states

"Good morning to you Merlin"

"He's breathing..he's not local"

"And how are you this morning?"

"Gaius! should i move him?"

"I am almost there my boy" Gaius relents he looks up to Gaius's old car park at the front he hobbles down the pavement "Is he a drunk?" he asks.

"He's come a long way for a pint!" Merlin comments.

"Merlin can you get him inside? i can't feel anything broken but his eyes look look like he's on narcotics "

Together they put him in the orangery close the blinds take care of his wounds put h   
im in clean cloths.

"Have you been eating kippers again?" Gaius demands Merlin rolls his eyes  
"It's one vice!"

"What about Morgana's gin?" Gaius scowles.

"It's made of herbs and botanicals! it's practically good for you!"

"I bet you anything she puts her feet in it" Gaius states walking towards the kitchen.

"Er..er.. yuk" Merlin gags "Help yourself to anything i have to and do vicar stuff" Gaius rolls his eyes makes himself tea and breakfast then checks on the patient.


	4. Chapter 4

"How is he?" Merlin asks the retired doctor

"Doing better,just not awake yet"

"Are you alright to stay a bit,i have some parishioners to visit supplies to take"

"Yes alright" Gaius agrees eyebrow on the rise as Merlin packs jam jars of what can only be gin "Merlin!" he says pointing at the jars.

"Look i am only delivering Morgana's... no the WIi's bounty" he explains looking shifty.

"Are you running a speak easy?" Gaius asks a fronted like a maiden aunt clutching his chest

"Once again, i am distributing the women of wee's goods this is a lot better than Morgana committing bakery at people!"

Merlin flounced out a bit loaded up Knob and trotted off.


	5. Chapter 5

He came back hours later looking ready joust, as someone had bestowed him a curtain rail a wooden one for the jumble sale, he spied Morgana and Gwen on the way to the manor house  
"Ola Don quixote " Morgana shouts.  
"Well met my lady " he dipped his curtain rail at her.  
"Ready to tilt at windmills?" she asks eyebrow on the rise.  
"Always my dear, every day" he winked.

Gaius left the patient after an examination "Call me when he wakes,but only in daylight hours or unless he's...you know a bit dead"  
"A BIT DEAD?!!" Merlin exclaims.  
"Well maybe don't call me if he is dead there's nothing i can do" Gaius notes as he closes the manor house door.  
"Physician heal thyself" Merlin murmurs.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin checks on the battered up Apollo who is restless in sleep,but not ready to wake.  
He meets Gwen and Morgana in the back of the garden or field they sat on old fashioned deck chairs drinking gin from jam jars with lemon slices in "Where's mine?" he asks making grabby hands.

 

"Patients dear" Gwen mutters, now the wind and rain have done the sun is shining.  
"Is that a pun?" Morgana asks.  
"Oh you know then?" Merlin says trying to assemble the deck chair.  
"How is your Knob?" Morgana asks Merlin sighs.  
"Wizards knob" is fine thankyou" he slings the deckchair away and sits on the grass "I swear they were made by escher" he scowls at the seat for a moment.  
"Well you would know Harry potter" Gwen snipes.  
"Gin turns you Gwen" Merlin comments.  
"So give us the scooby" Morgana sits forward.  
"Don't know nothing" Merlin answers looking for gin Morgana shudders at the double negative and gives in "Oh alright here" Morgana hands him a jar.  
"He was in the porch thing all unconscious, but he is very good looking no one would kick him to the curb" Merlin sighs.  
"You might be in there " Gwen comments.  
"The gaydar doesn't work when they are unconscious" Merlin states.  
Morgana snorts gin down her nose "How would you know that!?".  
Merlin just gives her a cold look "Don't you have to pas an exam ore a title something to be in the WI?" he asks.  
"Not when you have a title deary" Morgana opens another jar swigs from it.  
"Can we look at him?" Gwen asks suddenly   
"That is just creepy" Merlin states "But i do have to check on him" as he gets up swigs from his jar the harpys follow him.


	7. Chapter 7

Just as well the harpys followed him as Apollo is awake sat up looking confused his eyes widen when he sees Merlin in his vicars robes he favours the floaty kind from another century "Um hello" the man in the black dress says bending down "how do you feel" the man in the dress smells of kippers and gin, Apollo frowns "Where's this?" he asks all etonian wrinkling his nose "Kippers?" he says the two harpies giggle.  
"Are you hungry?,thirsty?...you must be" Apollo just nods a bit dazed "What should we call you?" the man in the dress asks.  
"Erm" Apollo's brow crinkles "I can't remember" he is starting to tear up.  
"Well we don't have to think about that now eh" the crossdresser says jovially.  
"Come on you're a bit banged up but i'm sure a walk about and shower will do you good" he helps Apollo to his feet who sways a little.  
"Then something to eat and you will be as right as rain" he drags Apollo to the walk in shower down the hall past to women who offer to cook "Not everyone likes tinned kippers Merlin!" the black haired beauty explained.


	8. Chapter 8

Gwen opens a cabinet in the kitchen "Merlin is so weird" she points at the contents of the cabinet, wall to wall tinned kippers Morgana looks at the contents looking pensive "Do you think it's the Jesus thing?" at Gwens mystified look she explained "loaves and fishes,only Merlin does tinned kippers being modern".

Gwen goes still thinking in a gin haze "But you've met his mother" she states.

"Single mother no father,Jesus hung around with loads of men" Morgana shrugs chopping an onion, Gwen will cook but everything needs onion and she doesn't like to see Gwen cry "Merlin doesn't hang around with loads of men" Gwen states.

"Bet he did at vicar school" she is interrupted by Merlin coming skidding into the room.

"CLothes!" he says looking a bit wild.

"Yes Merlin we are still wearing them" Gwen answers.

"Urm he's not my size!" Gwen and Morgana look at each other laughter in their eyes.

"I have a large dress from Aunt Agatha you can borrow" Morgana offers Merlin just looks at her.

"Pajamas!" Gwen cries "Pajamas always fit" she explains "You can be a size 12 and they'll fit a size 18 it's like pajama magic"

"Right" Merlin nods and runs from the room.

"They do don't they" Morgana looks thoughtful.

"Yes but you can't think about it too much or they won't fit"

"Part of the pajama magic?" Morgana asks.

"Yup" Gwen says making a culinary masterpiece with Morgana's chopped onion.


	9. Chapter 9

They all eat together Apollo is very hungry but still has manners and is a bit shy, then he gets all sleepy again.

Merlin leads him to a bedroom where Apollo soon sleeps.

It's windy again "Oh well thats summer over" Merlin says to himself readying himself for bed.

He hears a tinkling in his kitchen in the morning and drags himself out of bed.

It's Gawain the poach keeper a bit like a game keeper but also a poacher he slaps a large salmon on the kitchen side "Something for dinner" he rasps looking through the cupboards "Where's the whisky man?" he asks Merlin

"You can have a beaker " Merlin advises getting it from a mystery area.

"Ah man better be a big beaker"

"There you go" Merlin comes back with a half pint glass.

"You are a prince among men Merlin" Gawain says. sipping his drink.

Apollo enters the kitchen at a run shouting "Intruders" at the top of his voice holding a boot like a weapon.

Merlin and Gawain look at each other as Apollo hold the boot above his head "I know it's early but seem like you need a drink Gawain says making puppy eyes at Merlin.

"Hey put the boot down my friend, this is Gawain" he points at the poach keeper who waggles his his eyebrows and generally looks like Peppy le peu when he finds a painted cat.


	10. Chapter 10

"Thankyou for the salmon Gawain"  
The poach keeper winks "Can i use your shower?" he asks.

"Course you know you can" making hot tea with whisky for Apollo who is still holding onto the boot "Here have some tea Gawain's the poach keeper, he's a bit like a feral cat, but he can flush the toilet"

"Feck you" is heard in the background.

"Poach keeper?" Apollo asks coughing on the tea.

"Yes well he's like a game keeper but with benefits he only poaches a bit other poachers haven't a chance"

Merlin wraps the salmon after scaling and gutting putting herbs inside Apollo turns away then Merlin cling films it and puts it in the dishwasher "Erm" Apollo says pointing at the appliance "Oh yes it's the best way to do a big salmon"


	11. Chapter 11

Their is a knock at the door as Apollo is eating his breakfast, it's Leon the local constabulary, yes just the one.

"Good morning Merlin" he greets all politeness.

"Hello Leon what's the matter?" he asks Merlin can see he looks stressed.

"Well we found an abandoned car in Nathens field it has blood in it Mr Appleby says his shires can drag it out but i havn't anywhere to store it"

"You can put it in the field behind the hay bales Leon i'm sure we have a tarp to fit" he offers, he notices Leon looking at Apollo "A friend from out of town" he assures as he gives Leon tea who coughs a bit on drinking it "Jesus Merlin!" Merlin looks at him nonplussed,  
"Yes indeed Leon Jesus" he agrees "Water into wine and all that" he nods completely out of my hands".  
Leon wobbles off on his bike.


	12. Chapter 12

"Oh this salmon is yummy i love the sauce" Gwen says.

"help yourself to more potatoes" Merlin says "Gawain's a great poach keeper" he smiles

"Where has he gone?" Morgana asks looking around it's like you know there's a spider in the room but you do not know where it is.

"Back to his tent with a good portion"

"Wiki up!" Gwen squeaks it makes Apollo jump.

"Eh no i'm not!" Merlin exclaimed.

"The tent thing!" Morgana translates Gwen, she speaks fluent Gwen.

Apollo looks like he's at a tennis match of words for the insane.

The salmon is good he eats steadily the transvestite heaps more on his plate he's very content at the moment he can't recall the feeling before but he is pretty sure this is contentedness.

"Would you like some wine Apollo?" he is asked by the lovely man in the dress "erm yes please" he smiles at Merlin.

"Aw he's so cute are you going to keep him?" Gwen asks all excited.

"We'll decide when he's better" he gets a pat to the head which is not unpleasant.


	13. Chapter 13

Later on they withdraw to the withdrawing room?!!

Know one knows why.

"Do you remember when the pigs got out those ginger ones?" Gwen says.

"They weren't pigs they were boars" Morgana corrects.

"Well i thought that was people" Gwen says.

"No pigs can be boars too" Morgana informs

"Oh but i found it entertaining" Gwen adds.

"I still have one in the deep freeze" Merlin says "We should have a charity hog roast"

"Don't they eat acorns" Gwen lags behind in the conversation.

"I thought that was squirrels" Merlin comments stroking Apollos hair.

"Surely they both don't eat acorns" Gwen looks scandalised.

"No you don't want a face off between a squirrel and a boar" Morgana nods knowingly.

"Yeah squirrels have little hands like Donald trump they'd poke a boar in the the eye with a twigg no problem" Gwen thinks about it.

"They are ginger...do acorns make you ginger?" Merlin asks.

"Is Donald trump a giant squirrel?"

"No he's a giant bore".


	14. Chapter 14

It's early in the morning, Merlin spies gawain staggering out of his tent "ooh i'm glad your up,could you do me a favour?" he asks.

"right so i'm up" he looks down at his pants "what kind of favour is it your wanting" he asks tossing his hair and wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way, it has no effect on Merlin.

"Well here's fifty pounds, i was wondering if you could take our guest out today?"  
"Take him out? right so, seems a nice lad but your the boss, where do you want it done? i'll go get my drop sheet, a spade and the shotgun, do you want him like looking in the distance for rabbits and shit, like that book?" he asks.

Merlin frowns" I just wanted him to make friends and maybe you could take him to the cafe for a meal"

"Erm last meal is this?" Gawain asks confused "Before i off him like"

Merlin rubs his face and neck to let go of the tension "No offing gawain, you know what happened last time?"

"Yeah that's why i live in the garden now" he answers

"Just some shopping and some lunch, no dead people, i like Apollo, it is however distressing to me you have all the accoutrements for such and act"

Gawain looks all kicked puppy "Sorry" he mumbles head down.

"There there now no harm done" he pats gawain's head and leaves him to it.


End file.
